long dirty jokes

another. Mrs Miller holds a large potato in each hand and says “ These remind me of my husband Kaleb’s testicles”. Unsplash / Lana Abie 1. menu sir?

What does Trisha put behind her ears to attract men? The leader goes inside to check and hopefully find someone who can help them. “Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.” — brutalanglosaxon, “Wipe it off and say you’re sorry.” — Max_W_, “So few of them know how to dance.” — Jauncin, “Slow down and possibly use some lubricant.” — ThouDanKing, “The doctor walks in: ‘Sir, I have some bad news.

If you’re not offended easily, these dirty jokes from Ask Reddit will have you busting a gut laughing.

Goes to the bar and gets so drunk he pukes all over himself.

Next day he draws a bigger one and writes:

Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married. Asks the farmer. Last year he sent in his most disgusting flithy limerick ever and was stunned to find out he'd only come second. The hotshots were playing poker, the 49-ers were drinking and cat-calling the dames. One of the guys asks, “why is hitting a duck a problem?” Saint Peter replies, “If you hit a duck it will start quacking then another will start quacking, then all the ducks start quacking and e, A penguin is driving his car when he notices that the check engine light is on. The first man says to the second “Hey listen, I have a plan to get us out of here.”, firm I think it’s a ball “ the teacher says “no! Click here for more information. "I'm actually 47," the woman said, feeling really happy. She goes balistic, "You impotent bas*ard! What do you do when you come across an elephant in the jungle? After feeling around for a while, the old man said, "OK, You are 47."

21.

A Rabbi and a Priest are sitting on a bench in front of church. After a few hours of digging, the one Irish man turned to the other and said, "I wonder who died this time, this will be an expensive grave.". It was getting busier and busier by the day, so much so that there was barely a seat left in the whole joint.

Seemed like a good investment to me so | gladly, One man, who has drunk at least fourteen beers already, says, "I'd like to buy the ballerina a beer!".

She informed Jim that she suffered a disease that left her breasts at maturity of a 12 years old. Make sure to put vaseline on the seat, should it rain, otherwise the leather might crack.'

4. If he gets angry, he'll k*ll us. Man: I looked him straight in the eyes and said BAD DOG!” — sinister_compliment, “Banging your head on the lid of the coffin.” — JJayerson, “Where you stick the cucumber.” — Blitz100, “The first girl says, ‘My boyfriend can fit a whole fist up there.’ The second girl says, ‘Ha, my boyfriend can fit two fists and a foot.’ The third girl just smiles as she slides down the bar stool.” — Belexa, […] 38. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Peter. What’s the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? If you’re not offended easily, these dirty jokes from. 8.

Sandy had to confess to her man about her childhood illness. One day, their walk brought them to a swamp, in which the horse started to sink. He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years.

His teacher introduces herself: My grandad used to make me laugh with this! 50 Semi-Innocent Sexts To Make Him Picture You Naked | Thought Catalog, An Easy Guide On Opera News Hub Review Criteria | High Faculty, 80+ Best Vince Lombardi Quotes to Encourage Determination, Hard Work, and Success, How Each Zodiac Sign Handles Their Biggest Fears, When You Speak Your Truth, These 5 Things Happen, Through The Right Relationship Your Real Friends Will Reveal Themselves. The woman asks in a shaky voice : "Talk dirty to me !".

She said, “You told me your penis was the size of an infant!” By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement.

20. The old man replied, "I was behind you in line at McDonald's.

A man is sitting at the bar, his head in his hands. It's crowded and dirty.

I’m afraid you’re going to have to stop masturbating.’, Doctor: ‘Because I’m trying to examine you.

He was whispering in my ear.

Every now and then in life, you'll come across someone who feels the need to make you wait a few minutes until they get to the punchline. Why did the sperm cross the road? ", Mom: If a boy touches your boobs say "don't" and if he touches your pussy say "stop"? What do you do when you come across an elephant in the jungle? Later farmer looks out into the barnyard and finds the rooster stretched out, limp as a rag, his eyes closed, dead and vultures circling overhead. Little Red Riding Hood: Mr. Big Bad Wolf, are you going to eat me whole? All the teachers at the school know this.

His father thinking quickly said, "Son, that's so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven." Sandy and Jim got married and they could not wait so Jim whisked Sandy off to their hotel suite and they started touch teasing, holding one Man: I told her to pack her shit and get the hell out! ...sees a 1 dollar bill in a shit. What did one lesbian vampire say to another lesbian vampire? So, how are you getting there?”, He knocks on a door, a lady answers and he says "Collecting... that'll be five dollars.”. Miss Smith gasped, blushed deeply, then said freezingly. What’s your favorite dirty joke? They discussed fi.

There is no rush!" A woman walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre. St. Peter turns to the first Nun in the line and asks her "Sister, have you ever touched a penis?" 22.

Plenty on this hilariously inappropriate list are sex jokes and dirty riddles that are totally inappropriate for kids.

How did you do that?"

25. They’re stuck up cunts.” — NuclearJesusMan, “…is that sexual harassment?” — odies1971, “Dress her up as an altar boy.” — DrinkableCrisps, “If she drinks the whole bottle, she might even give it a little suck.” — WeFeedBees, “They always come in a little behind.” — Whitefox07, “Because she outgrew her B-shells!” — Gvanderv, “I’ve never had a lentil on my chest.” — [deleted], One says to the other, ‘Man, I can’t believe I blew forty bucks in there!

The Sister Responds "Well... there was this one time... that I kinda sorta... touched one with the tip of my pinky finger..."

I saw how he kissed your neck. “I too have a problem. Distractions; Jokes; 100 of the funniest dirty jokes that will make you laugh and gasp “Sex is like playing Bridge – if you don’t have a good partner, you better have a good hand”

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